Have you ever walked down a busy street and passed a stranger and felt a little quiver inside like you knew them?
Have you ever been in a store shopping and someone comes near you to look at something and feel you a strange sense that you know them?
A lot of unusual incidents happen to us everyday that literally go right over our head. We have a tendency to take everything on a surface level. We live in a deeply superficial age. We are so visually bombarded that the subtle distinctions that make up life simply escape our notice.
Now you may ask, what does any of this have to with dating tips?
Plenty, as I have discovered. You see, you may belong to a super online dating service that affords you plenty of choices in finding an online date, but, it’s not until you actually meet that person that it really becomes real. Unless you are dealing with some kind of post traumatic stress from being abused or something, your ultimate wish (desire) is to meet the person that you have been exchanging e-mails with. Right? This meeting is what is generally known as a date.
Ah…but here’s the rub. Just like sixty second sex, the first meeting is a do or die situation. Most of us really don’t want to admit how much enormous pressure we feel at this first, “casual” “no problem” meeting.
When it comes to dating tips, I have a few tried and true winners to tell you about. Some are my own and some are from e-mails from my friends out there.
Dating Tips #1
Choose the First Live Meeting Place Very Carefully
Pick the first place that you lay eyes upon your girl, or guy very carefully. Why? Because you have no idea what the future holds. If serious fireworks go off when your eyes first meet, you will kick yourself in the butt for being in a place where you have to scream at each other to hear, or if it is so dead silent that it is obvious to everyone around you what is going on and your words choke in your throat because everything you say will be heard by the whole room. How embarrassing and uncomfortable!
A while back I did a survey (I love finding out what people think) and asked my friends the question: “Who generally picks the first live meeting place? The girl or the guy?” 97% said the girl! I was curious…so I went further and asked why. Here is what I was told:
“I will feel safer if I pick the place.”
“I know my way around the area. If I want to leave quickly, I don’t have to worry about being in an unknown vicinity.”
“I need to feel some kind of control. I just want it my way, at first.”
“I need to see how he will look in a place that is familiar to me. A place I have been before.”
Dating Tips True Story:
Once met a guy on the Net. I will call him Richard for the sake of his privacy. We intellectually and visually clicked, and I picked my favorite coffee/bakery shop to meet him.
This little shop is the place I go every morning to pick up my cup of java on the way to my office. It is just a sweet little place, kind of shabby really, but I love the family that has run it for years. It is the kind of place where you can watch the bakers in the back making doughnuts and watch the machinery roll the donuts off of the assembly line. Where automation blends happily with old world charm. The kind of place that has wedding cakes in the window and the morning sunlight streams through the store front glass in the morning.
Well, I had no idea what the place was like in the late afternoon. I had always been there in the early morning, when it was busy, but okay. Well, I (like most girls) picked the place where we were supposed to first meet.
Traffic was bad and I barely made it on time. I walked in and I could not believe how loud and obnoxious the place was. He got from where he was pinned in and stood up like Prince Charming to greet me and I knew, by his expression, that he was clearly pleased with what he saw, too.
I had no idea how long he had been there, but certainly long enough to regret it. He was quiet, but it was obvious. I nervously sat down and immediately regretted meeting him there. But it was too late. I was not about to get in the car with him and go someplace else. I wasn’t about to walk around the street outside, near the alleyways.
I didn’t have a back-up plan and felt stupid. Within only a few minutes, our first meeting was falling apart because we almost screaming at each other. We were both attracted to each other, but the whole thing was off. It was a disaster! We were only there ten minutes and then he left. I waited a few minutes longer in the chaos and then I left. Inside I knew, well…. that’s it! I may be well educated, but sometimes I can be a really dumb bunny!
In the days to follow, I didn’t hear from him again. I don’t exactly know why I didn’t try to start over, or something. It just didn’t feel right. Something was lost. It didn’t feel right (still doesn’t) trying to force it to work again. Our chance just slipped away, the way you pass someone on the street and wish later that you would have said, “Don’t I know you?”
I still stop by each morning and pick up my coffee, but I don’t glance over at the table to see him sitting there any more. I cannot explain why it stabbed me a little to do that. I guess it’s knowing what I have missed…..
Be Unforgettable-Make A Small Gesture
Be unforgettable! Because we are children of this superficial age, our minds skip right ahead to thinking that being unforgettable means how we look. That’s important too! Because of our Adamic roots, we are all animals by nature. But what I want to talk about here is much more than that! Where I live there are gorgeous men and women.
WE take keeping ourselves up to new heights! So? What am I talking about?
Dating Tips True Story:
I have been blessed with some really special friends, guys and girls. One of my most special friends is a guy called Jason. Jason and I met on a online dating service website.
We had a bunch of friendly chat and we decided to meet. I felt very comfortable meeting Jason. There was something happy-go-lucky about him and I thought, “Why not?” I sat on the bench in the Park and killed a few minutes waiting for him that day.
I closed my eyes for a minute after watching a little boy chase the mother duck around, trying to grab her tail feathers. I opened my eyes and Jason was standing there, holding a little bunch of forget-me-not flowers. He didn’t say anything when he handed me the flowers. The only thing he did was smile. I immediately smiled back and asked, “How do you know that I am Michaela?” He said, “I just do. I know you.”
He sat down next me and we both knew right away that the sparks weren’t there for us. We were comfortable and chummy, but really, nothing else. Still, I found him very charming as I held the little bunch of flowers in my hand. There was something genuine about Jason.
Over two hours passed on the bench as we chattered away about every thing and nothing at all. He politely hugged me and told me how glad he was that he had met me. When we went to leave, he touched me by arm and hesitated. I asked him what was wrong. He said,” I just wanted you to have this.” He pulled out a tiny porcelain Dalmatian dog, out of his pocket, and put it my hand. It was a little thing, but I felt very touched by it. (A while back we were just chatting on the Net and I had told him about wanting a Dalmatian, but I couldn’t because of my apt. rules.
Jason and I are still sweet, funny friends. If you knew his handle on the Net, you would know how wildly popular he is. Do I really have to explain why? I kid him all the time about what a rampant love hound he is and he teases me about over-romanticizing everything! Now do you know what it means to be unforgettable? Thank you, Jason, for teaching me this! I love you.
Oh, by the way, after the initial meeting, you have some choosing to do! Oh, I wonder what will happen next?
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